It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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