I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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