Quick, to the slutcave!
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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