Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
