Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
