threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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