I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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