Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
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His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize