Dual....:-)
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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