How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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