Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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