i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
