So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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