Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
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