i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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