In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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