it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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