She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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