summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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