So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
