I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
