He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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