dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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