Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
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you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
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he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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