On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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