This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
