There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
