I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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