So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Randomize
