So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
