So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
