Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
