This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
