so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
