Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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