dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
did i just pee glitter
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