so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I had to cum in my sink.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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