Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize