I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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