Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
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