Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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