Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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