take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Randomize
