She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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