Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
