well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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