No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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