She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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