TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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