When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
