so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
