Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
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Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
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How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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