I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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