Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
