So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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