worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
The dick lei will go down in squad history
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
