bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
