First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize