one two three fourrrrnication!
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
