i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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