I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
