He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
