every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
